This it totally true you have no idea if the people around you are struggling. I feel that people often put up a front as the idea of any sort of weekness is frowned upon.

When I’m feeling down I don’t hide it very well most of the time but I do tend to hibernate away in my room. We all have our ways off escaping into our self witch isn’t always best.

This is why I blog. Challenge myself to talk about it and talk to others it feels great !

Love Heals.

Wow … I’ve rewritten this twice. I have two strong contrasting opinions on this.

Opinion 1.

Love and partnership can bring you so much happiness. You can learn so much more about yourself and others can open you up to experiences that you wouldn’t undertake on your own.

Opinion 2.

Love can fill a void and be forced . Love is not the way to ignore problems within yourself. Once you feel strong on your own your probably not going to still need that partnership. Or comphet blanket. This leads to people getting hurt.
So witch opinion do you agree more with ? Let me no and why in the comment section.


You no what we often see people who make us ashamed to be human or who we are.

It can be someone who fits in a certain stereo type negatively and because your in the same group you are then asosiated with that negativity.

It can be someone who is cruel . 

I see a lot of stories on Facebook about exposing a peodofile. I have a few points about that.

1. Why do you have to show everyone what you are doing catching these people …Do it anonymously.

2. Stop spreading hate & publicising hate.

It gets to me we are ashamed to call them human but step away . Don’t let hate and anger take hold of you.


This is the second diary and this is for me to look back on . I will be editing and adding every other day. Feel free to like & Comment.

17th Jan 2017

So today I’ve felt pretty good . Slept well last night and that happens rarely .

Last night was one of those rare occasions. I’d had a good day. I’d been on a date bowling and absolutely wooped her…Not sure if your supposed to do that on a first date but me.

I ain’t getting into it but she’s pretty daym cool.

Once I’d woken up refreshed it was the for work.

For me that’s chefing. Today was very quite and started my new 7-2pm shifts . Finishing at 2 has been daugnting as it leaves me with a lot of time on my hands. 

Today I took up some of that time by hitting the gym.

( Feel free to follow me on Instagram – Search jamesthefreak)

After the gym it was time to chill for a bit I was knackerd and very red faced….

A horrible photo but hopefully it gives you a laugh !

Later on I met my friend Paul and went Pokémon hunting it was nice just chilling with Paul and having a good catch up. 

Now time for me to wind down with a happy pod cast and hopefully have another great night’s sleep. ✌️

18 Jan 2017

Last night I slept well and heavy feel a little half asleep as I travel to work.

I stopped at the local news agent to be served but a repulsive new starter trying to engage in conversation. I thought to myself “not today”.

A morning were little social interaction would be appreciated.

 I cheered up threw the day thank good and  soon it was 2pm and time to finish work.

I’d over done it at the gym so knees were sore . Rest day today !

I visited my Gran tonight . She is getting more forgetful and less independent since her last visit. It’s tough on my Mam so I try and support her as much as I can. Even if it’s just going with her to visit.

Feb 16th 

Have not bloged in a while keeping busy but not busy.

I started dating a woman it was going pretty good however I didn’t feel any electricity any want for her. Before I could break it off she did.

Looks like I made the mistake of thinking a new relationship would help me forget the last. It actually ment this one had a lot to live up to and well…It didn’t. Not to say that I still have any romantic feelings for what was that’s in the past.

I reached out to the ex to extend a final attempt at a friendship it was declined (no reply) so that’s put that to bed.

Ive been filling my time by binge watching Netflix and Pokémon Go…..

I’m looking forward to the new update I will be out walking all the time !

Match 4 2017

So the end of today went weird…

A text off the ex. So less than a week ago she was removing me from her instergram and a week before that I mesaaged to say hope all was well and got no response I get this.

I don’t think I would have been up for a catch up… 

A – Hey what’s up with you?

Me – just getting by day today with nothing much to do just deal with the anxity and shit that goes with a bad break up and accepting that there will not be a friendship and feeling a bit hurt and scorned…. How about you ?


Maybe this will eventually happen but I won’t hold my breath.


It’s true I’ve had at least 10 years of mostly shit relationships . I mean granted the last one was on me but we’re not all perfect.

I’m 30 I have two awesome kids. I just want to settle down have more kids and be happy.

I don’t have any fights left in me. If your not happy please leave and don’t linger around telling me you “love me” like the last one.

Because you see every bad experience I have. Like the example before affects the level of anxity I go threw the next time I’m in that situation.

Example . Next times someone says I love you I’m going to be questioning that straight away.

I was told she stayed because she loved me kids…. Great that’s gonna make me feel really confident introducing anyone else to them.

However time they say is a healer so watch this space…..


If you don’t like the situation your in guess who can change it…..YOU.

You can’t take yourself out of a negative situation . Regardless of whether it’s a job you hate or a group of “friends” that are bringing you down. You can take the steps to move away and make your life happier. 

Stand up for the possitive life you want to lead.
At the end of the day……

Especially if there trying to drag you down that rabbit hole.