Anxiety Stop Kicking My Ass!

I seam to be kicking my ass over and over the same shit recently.

Just not really felt very positive about myself or the impact I have on other people.

I am often finding myself down the negitive side of anxiety when you think all the worries and all the bull shit is because I’m broken and why the fuck can’t I fix it ?

At the moment I am having a lot of support from my partner even though she dosent seam to realise. Sometimes just being able to enjoy the peace of cuddling into her and watching something and letting myself relax is the best feeling in the world.

I never and I mean never feel like that.

Also been able to talk to her and even making long calls (normally calls freak me out )

So time to move the fuck on with life. Put this worry and doubt behind me and continue to stay strong.

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Dating With Anxiety – Part 4

I don’t no why but I’ve always felt really uncomfortable on the phone my anxiety often peaks . I get paranoid that other people are listing and I mumble and no one knows what the fuck I’m on about 😂

Tonight tho I’ve been on the phone nearly 3 hours 😮

Turned out just needed to be someone I actually wanted to talk to someone I missed.

It felt like I was there with them.

Dating With Anxiety – Part 3

Loyalty is very important. It dosent matter to me what others think . All I can offer you is my loyalty. I won’t leave you I won’t judge you.

What I will do is support you. I’ve struggled with anxiety , stress and at times depression for going on 20 years . I have learned ways to deal but it has made me very understanding to other people there feelings and what they might be going through.

Dating With Anxiety – Part 2

Oh you do love me ? Are you sure…..

See sometimes I have a lot of doubts about how people feel about me. My family , my friends and my partner.

I often don’t feel like I deserve any of them.

I wonder how she could love me / put up with me. Sometimes I can be sensitive about the littlest thing and it’s because I’ve already thought of 10+ negitive things about the statement you have made.

For example ” You really are a dick”

You see if this is character flaw bassed or something I don’t do. You can bet I’ve already been aware and beaten myself up in my head for months about it. Then when.you say it , it then feel 10x worse because you agree . It isn’t just in my head.

We had a little falling out lastnight over something I don’t do..something I’m aware of. What pissed me off is why haven’t I don’t anything about it before . I know I should be doing it . So what did I do . Took it out on the person that matters the most to me.

We made up and I couldn’t be happier about that.

I try to do little things to show her I care. I’ve switched of from.romance a long time ago but with her I want to show her how much I care. Not felt like this before.

I’ve been becoming a better person in a lot of ways by being around her. Seeing her kind hearted ways.

She lies here next to me now snoring in the cute way she does . I love it. I love her.

And I’m finishing this blog so I can go cuddle into her.

Brain is wired tonight tho so not sure if I’m.gonna sleep but I’m.going to enjoy the comphat of lying next to the person that means the most to me.

Dating with Anxiety – Part 1

Maybe I’m always going to worry I’m not good enough for you. In fact never mind maybe I no I will.

It’s true. I’ve caused some worry for myself and now I feel so stupid.

I often think I’m not good enough but then you look at me and tell me you love me and my heart melts.

I look in your eyes and I feel safe.

I fall asleep and wake up feeling bad because I would be given shit for doing the same with other partners. For that you look at me like I’m daft.

I have to keep reminding myself off this.

We could have the future I want.

A house , kids , marriage and Beeing stuck with me Forever.

I just sometimes have to remind myself that I’m loved and that you love me. It’s hard sometimes.