And hurt you and get under your skin. I. Suppose it might make them feel better or have a bit of relief or joy knowing they have hurt someone else.
The thing is though people like that cant hurt me not with saying the things they have. They have just made me feel happy for them.
I have had so much free time now and that has been scary and it has been hard to get used to. I mean I used to even get followed into the toilet…. didnt get much time alone. Thats not a complaint about the fact I spent so much of my time with one person im just highlighting how different things are now for me.
I feel almost like a widow (or the male version) I dont think I will ever be able to love again and move on etc. I said in my blog “forever alone” & “fuck forever alone” exactly how I felt.
But some great things have happened over this week.
Someone tried to work friends against me and I let anxiety burry me away …. but I thought fuck it and went out and guess what all those people who matter that I thought had been turned against me well…..quite the opposite.
Ive been to the gym 4 times this week (once with a hangover 😂) and guess whos back too running 5k no breaks….me. plus the weights ive been doing,stepper,rowing machine and criss trainer . To think I spent time thinking the worst thing would be if someone I cared about thought what I do about myself …. That im fat & ugly.
Turned out they thought that and a lot more nasty things . Was often put to me as a joke but more recently just said outright to me & people close to me. Shows there true colours. Said more than once too.
Also the kids have been making amazing progress at school and after talking to someone important people to do with there well fair have been assured that things are good and wont be effected.
Ive also been working on a blog now for a number of months all about what has gone one with the kids including evidence that ive been told im more than within my rights to share.
Havent quite decided what im going to do with it when finished but its nearly there.
Also had several meetings about important stuff and its all looking good. Also got a pay rise at work £10+ a hour 😏 very nice and job title changing to manager 👌
Also got some new music from one of my favourites and just so happens to be a great song and the lyrics very fitting at the moment.oh and did I mention ive been jamming in a band again. Playing some very heavy stuff I love it!
Ive got time now for things that used to make me happy. Not saying that what replaced them didnt also make me happy but glad I can fall back on them.
Oh and my views are through the roof just been accepted for monetized adds as of next month 😮 Going to be fun to pick from services I think are relevant to the blog to talk about!
So goodnight love you thanks for reading ✌
See if we can make this night 3 if falling asleep without a podcast….I bet I can.