Just one of those days I had a big emotional punch to the gut yesterday and its got me quite down.

I’m back to the butterflies as a memory sparks in my brain then strait away the sinking feeling .

Suppose could be down to the dream I had last night . I really care about her built her walkers & toys up. I used to love letting her sit in the drivers seat of my car. She got so exited. That’s just a few small memories.

I see family’s walk past with little girls and I think “I always thought id be there for her when she got to that age etc”.

What makes me happy about it though is that she is young and will have forgotten about me a long time ago.

Also in other news ….

Imagine finding out after 12 years that you have a kid that you where never told about ?

Crazy right?

Why make someone out to be a monster when in fact you lied to him and hid your pregnancy. So you make someone out as not caring but is that the truth?

Now I’ve seen what he looks like too its very strange.

This is a hard time for me but the one person I would talk to , she’s out of my life so yeah ๐Ÿ˜‚


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