As life goes on you really get a feel for who your real friends are.

It makes it more fun interacting with the fake ones running backwards and forwards telling tails like children and general back stabbing. I’ve had a few then need to reach out to me for favours …. You made your bed now you can lay in it!

So happy at the moment I can’t express it enough. Keep getting more and more good news and life in general is looking up.

I’ve realized now I don’t miss her anymore as I never new her really. I just miss the good times the memory of how it was most of the time. Even that is tainted now when I find out how things where behind my back.

You live and you can learn.

Hopefully tonight’s dream won’t include a conversation with her. Like last night . A reminder of a conversation where I was put down over my appearance.

And to think Cordelia dies too 😯


I’ve been told quite a few times recently that I’ve made people happy or helped people deal with problems.

I actually love to help people and it’s something that I wasn’t able to do for a while . I was focusing & wasting my time helping the wrong person.

Every week that goes by the more normality comes back into my life and I’m finding myself happy again .

I’ve been treating the right people too…

£70 worth of shoes there but dam do they look cool ! And about £50 pound worth of clothes for us all ! The youngest teased that we had had a girly day out shopping. I said if that’s the case I must be a big girl because I love spoiling people.

Especially my kids ❤️

Also got my Xbox back but they had broken it so had to pay costs. So got a cheque for the value of a Xbox …about £100 so I upgraded to a Xbox S 1TB it’s a beast .

You see value ain’t important to me neither its just money. I just enjoy the feeling of giving and of course treating myself now and again.

I’ve just been chilling playing Pokémon Red on a DS that I found. Forgotten I even had it. Probably going to sell it once I’ve played it. Or a charity shop would be best won’t get much for it and someone else can enjoy it.

Spent Friday night gaming with a friend until about 4am…we both passed out in the menus 😂 We didn’t start till late as I was out for a meal first….was lush .

Saturday was cool too did a Ex raid played some pogo and did shopping (shoes etc)

Then Sunday we watched End game at the pics in the morning then walk in the sun ….

A awesome weekend. Better than yours for sure 😋


Some Pokémon go highlights over the weekend….

So nice busy weekend walked 35km this week too 👌

So feel like some deep sleep is ahead of me too. Wonder if I will have the dream again? I wake up next to her and she looks at me pulls me close and I say …. Get out 😂

Put Down.

I’m starting to realize why I’ve had to deal with passive aggressive comments and the more I look back the more I realize who was pulling the strings.

I mean imagine finding out that you had been lied to and lied about.

I mean his family & he was made to think I was stopping him seeing his kid. That I was insisting that it didn’t happen and at the same time I’m being told he doesn’t make the effort to see his kid or make the effort.

I suppose at the time I never thought about how I was made to block his entire family incase of drama. Maybe incase I found out the truth or he did.

Anyone who knows me would know I would never get in-between a parent and there kid. It goes against everything I stand for. Everything I’ve personally fought for.

Horrible and minipulitive.

The more digging the more that will come to light.

You see people have tried to effect me put me down. It’s not working . I find it all pathetic how people will use others to try and find out information or even just spread lies. Even matching carpets to venues …. The word stalker comes to mind.

There are so many games in play i can’t keep up with it anymore. I just sit back.

So I just kinda sit in bed remembering the person who died and was replaced by a monster and wonder what the fuck happened.

And even now with all of this I can’t help miss her because I’ve not fallen out of love I just hope I will soon.

Angle rewach tonight. Cherry picked some stuff.

I can’t believe Wesley dies. Just did a rewach of that episode and the fact Fred dies first and comes back as a God who can’t remember Wesley.

It’s just a darker show.

Still prefer Buffy when angels son comes into angel it gets stupid.



Today has been really hard had a set back that I can’t help.Had that sort of dream again where everything is back the way it was.So I roll around in bed not able to sleep and it has a knock on effect all day.I’m tired and I just want to curl up into a ball and sleep this afternoon away.I wont though. I will try and put it in the back of my mind like everyday and go for a walk or something.

Game on …

I’ve had a great time recently playing my favourite game. There has been a few events over lapping and it’s made for a competitive long weekend.

However I have got everything I wanted and won some bets with friends 👌

I had a smashing bank Holiday been out loads with the kids. Had ice creams at the beach and visited parks . Lost of long walks and adventures .

And when they have been with there mam I’ve been walking smashing pogo.

Check in.

What a day. I’ve had.

Saturdays are totally changing for me and I love it. I spent all day walking and talking with people.

I was walking for about 6 hours all over. I went to the town , the seafront & another park.

I was of course playing Pokémon 👌

That ment I bumped into some great people and had a great laugh.

Even bumped into some not great people and couldn’t have cared less. There was a point in my life where I thought that would really bother me but it didn’t in a weird way made me happier because I realized I didn’t care.

Then had a play date with the kids and one of there friends that was awesome & there mam & I have been supporting them through a rough time.

That ment tonight was a late night of gaming , snacks , fast food & films ❤️ oh and we revisited fail army as well .


Does that mean that I’ve gone a day without missing them. Course not. I ment what I said.