This it so true right now.
I feel lonely a lot of the time at the moment and it’s something I’ve always stressed about.
I’m 30 I have two kids and I want to share my life with someone. I had horrible break ups . I don’t no if I’ve got the strength to try again and if I do I’m not meeting anyone any time soon.
I seam to be stuck in a cycle at the moment. I can almost feel my anxiety bubbling under the surface ready to explode .
I am for the most part controling it.
Work has been rough recently too lots of changes and things just generally going tits up.
I look forward to my sleep. Listing to my podcasts as I drift off….
This image has really got me tonight.
My life feels a bit down the drain at the moment feel like I’m going threw the motions have I felt suicidal no… But I find it hard to realise when I am. I get close but I could never leave my kids.
When I’ve been close to jumping I’ve thought about them. Thoughts of them are what hold me to the bridge.
You see my life is shit at the moment and I’m doing things to change that.
Im being creative . Writing a book , playing in a band , publishing and selling my photography and creating blogs.
The problem is I don’t have someone to share this with.
Same shit has caused me to be alone again. I fucking hate it. I don’t think I can take the hurt again. I just want to be loved and love in return instead of being told I am when I’m not. Pretty much how all of my relationships end..
Just a down day today I suppose.
Well I’ve found myself with a lot of free time of late. That’s what being a loser is. Sitting alone wishing you were being more productive then realising I actually do quite a bit ! Must be I’ve lost over a stone I’m definitely getting out and about…. But I still have some free time now and again.
This has given me time to revisit a book I’ve been on and off writing for a year or so. It’s coming along great .
Anyway I may preview a short clip here if there is enough interest.
It’s a romantic comedy where unusual parings are made and people are thrown together to survive a plauge of abductions… What to read a clip just like this blog (so I no there is interest) and follow to get a email as soon as it’s uploaded.
If I get 10+ likes it’s happening for sure ✌️
So a strange thing happened a month or so …. I just stopped biting my nails. I didn’t try to stop biting them and I only noticed when they were long and I caught myself with one.
Now I’ve always related my nail biting to my anxiety . What’s strange is I’ve had quite a few flare ups but still I have not gone back to biting my nails.
This is causing some problems …. I have no idea how to care for my nails. I’d never had to cut them before for example. I M currently typing this with a broken nail. I have no idea what to do with is so I’m just leaving it! If you no what to do please let me no in the comment section hahah.
When i find the love I’m sure i will go for it 😂
However at the moment my love is coming from my friends and my family. I’ve had some tough times and at times i do feel like I’m drifting three life but hey. I’m here . I’m sure things will get better ✌️
I try to stay calm day to day and rise about situations but it’s important to no that it’s okay to lose it one and a while.
That dose not mean that you should be losing it all the time. You got to find a balance.
How do you no if you’ve gone to far though? Suppose you don’t till you do. Spend some time after making it up.
Sometimes it can be hard trying to find the happiness in the world around us.
It’s something I try a different force myself into the habbit off doing on some days others it becomes natural.
It’s a way to take control of your worries and your anxity , search for a possitive and cling on to it.