Tag Archives: anxious

What A Year….

Honestly this year has not been easy. It’s made me stronger however and reassess my life.

I set about to make the most of every opportunity and to do good things focus on giving back.

Also took time for myself.

I visited Edinburgh a few times on my own & once with a friend and have another visit planed in the new year.

I started twitch streaming Pokémon go and got a really awesome fan base. Even run my own discord channel for fans and instead of asking people for donations for me I accepted them for different charities. Each sent thank you letters.

the last one sent me out this…

I had to walk a million steps ! Did this while streaming and playing Pokémon. Had to sink up my smart watch to prove it and all sorts .

One of the most amazing things has been becoming a uncle ! ♥️ I absolutely love being an Uncle and I’m clearly her favourite. She follows me around the room and I always make her smile & laugh.

Its been so nice seeing her so often too. She’s amazing .

Of course I also meet one of my hero’s twice this year ! It was awesome both times we hung out in the smoking area for him only. First time I snuck out and he respected my gutts for doing it so he invited me the second time. The second time was awesome too so many people remembered me from last time and spent a lot of the night drinking and laughing with people .

Oh I also took the kids away to York . That was so much fun they where so exited on the drive through. We did loads too ♥️

Including the York dungeon ! The kids loved it was so funny and I got a great key ring of this photo.

And while we are talking about the kids….

I also won majority custody of the children absolutely amazing . People tried so hard to fuck things up for those two boys and I’m glad the court actually seen through it. The kids are happier too and that’s the main thing.

Also through the year I really got a sense of being overwhelmed and happy , appreciative of the little things. Things that may seam like not a big deal to anyone become a big deal for me.

The fact I got to hear & love a new album from my favourite band !

That I got to see the final star wars !

The End of game of thrones !

All things someone tried to convince me I’d never enjoy or have…

Ive also enjoyed a over a year for single life and I intend it to continue.

I have spent time and focus on the kids & myself.

It really is great and I can’t wait for our next chapter. I have a viewing next week for a big flat . I’m so exited .

I absolutely love my job too. I’ve progressed really well and my pay rises have ment that I can now afford so much more. Also my legal fees are now all paid off .

I had a horrible time with illness for a long time something I am a working on.

I nearly collapsed at work and discovered I had 3 gallstones 🤦 I had almost 3 months off work and I was in a lot of pain. Was good though as it’s made me commit to a healthy lifestyle change that has seen me lose weight and feel better.

I did the 10 year challenge and I think in the younger one I’ve got ALL the chins.

10 years ago

Few Days Ago.

Christmas was amazing too. Last year was the worst Christmas I’d ever had and all I wanted was this year to be the complete opposite and it was… ♥️

Absolutely love them.

I’m sure there has been plenty I’ve missed but I’ve had an amazing 2019 . I wish everyone the best ✌️

Happy new year everyone ♥️

Closed Doors.

It’s such a shame that there are so many people that feel like this.

I have gone through the worst depression I have ever felt with this year at times and I have felt like this and alone.

I’ve kept myself busy however and really grasped every opportunity. I’ve made improvements to my life and my mental health . I’ve not forgotten who I am.

I’ve been lucky to have so many friends to talk too but I’ve found it difficult too.

I’m always reminded about the night I spent under the bridge and I didn’t want to go home and be sad. I woke up when I rolled over into nettles.

People joke about it or give me a hard time but they don’t know how low I was that night. Or where my head was.

I’ve not wanted to open up and talk and even struggled in therapy.


I want the best for my kids future and I no that is not a alien concept for most parents. Most put there kids first.

Not my kids mother though.

My oldest son struggles a little with his school work including homework. When we do homework we spend a lot of one on one time together to complete it.

He is now in the second year or secondary school. The work load is increasing and the homework needs splitting between myself and his wife mother.

However when he does it there this is what he produces….

Where he’s told to just copy from Google or copy what he is told or read from Google. It means that when I ask him what he has learned or anything about the work he doesn’t know.

As he hasn’t learned anything by simply copying.

Here is some differences between between work done with me and work done with the “help” of his mother.

It’s horrible and self centered never mind how embarrassing it would be for our son to hand in that messy work. He wouldn’t know how to answer any questions about the work at school either.


Honestly when I say that someone is dead to me . I have no interest in that person. So why do people who claim the same always crawl out from under there rock looking for attention. In fact it made me physically sick . Little vomit in the mouth.

I mean that’s not hard at the moment with the condition I have but still.

Anyway on to family …..

Since winning at court and showing exactly what she was to everybody. Life has been great.

A told me however that the kids mam recorded one of my meets with him. Then her & her whole inbred , horrid and selfish family sat around laughing about it.

None of them bothered how A was feeling. Trapped and made to do what he did. So much so that when he seen cafcass they discovered she had planed and minipulated the whole thing. To benefit herself. Strait away she tried to claim benefit money & get A diagnosed with something so she would get a increase in the money she was receiving.

She even had the cheek to ask me one on one in court if she could still claim benefit money for A when he returned to me.

I’m so sorry that word got out at work that you sat buy and allowed your children to be abused so things where uncomfortable at work. I’m sure the kids felt more uncoftable going through abuse like being locked in there room for so long they had to piss in there room. She was actually put out that people where talking about her at work so she went on the sick for over a year.

I have no sympathy.

She is vile. World class abuser mentally eventually the kids will see through her lies & her horribleness.

I mean she had the Gaul to tell my kids I’d abused her discussing. Funny how that has never ever been discussed but as soon as people started working together like sick fucks . All the kids mam wanted to do was effect how the kids thought of me so she would look better. That’s her through and though however . Doesn’t care about mentally abusing kids as long as the outcome serves herself. Same with sitting back as someone physically abused the kids because at least the kids would behave after there abuse.

A trophy mother she only cares about what she looks like to others. That she looks like a good mam.

She is not.

And for people to communicate with her knowing fine we’ll how things would effect the kids and did it anyway.

Your scum.