Tag Archives: anxious

Nightmare… Actually I Loved It.

You ever had a good dream woke up and thought god daym I was enjoying that. We’ll that happened last night I have three vivid dreams that I woke up from I can only remember one.

Zombie apocalypse !!

I was running down a street being chased by some of the undead however they were quite a distance from me. There was another guy running with me but I didn’t know him.

I could see I hiding spot behind a old wall ….

No idea what it was doing in a city.

I was hoping the other guy would keep running and draw the zombies away from me. He instead joined me ..that’s when I turned into a dick.

I told him “stay here I will get help” jumped out from the wall and through a stone against it making noise so zombies were attracted to him and I got away while they got him…


From there I went into a house through a metal garage . It was full of weapons . I was over whelmed and didn’t no witch one to pick. Then I heard a dog barking .

Went into the rest of the house to see a dog chained up in the living room barking. I went back into the garage to get something to cut his chain.
It was atractting lots of zombies so I was going to let him outside to give them a run and destract once again from me. This time though the dog just walked through them as  they headed to me…….
Anyway there was quite a bit more to that dream but I’m getting tired and hoping I have a good dream again tonight.

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Don’t Be Sad.


How many times have we said this to someone or has it said to us. Sometimes we are left without anything else to say.

I’ve been trying very hard to focus on my happiness at the moment and for the most part it is paying off. 

This time last year I was so happy. New love and we shared an amazing bank holiday together. I won’t forget that. Was that my one chance of Real happiness . Probably not. It’s a great memory though .

I can’t be that happy again I just no it.

How To Think 

You know I seen this and I couldn’t have agreed more. Now I’m starting to write… actually fuck that .. I no how to think … THINK POSITIVE!

Just not easy is it . I can have a train of possitive thoughts and goals and then boom…

This crops up more so as I try to sleep. I have got myself into quite a possitive routine at the moment however. I suppose part is linked to lonlyeness.

Before I sleep I like to post a blog and edit a photo for my instergram.

I like waking up in the morning to notifications . Sad right. Makes me feel loved.

And then I switch my notification sounds off and shove on a Karl Pilkington pod cast and lie down like this untill my brain switches off.

Hope.

I suppose right now I’m quite numb but pained. Strange sentence right. 

I was lonley and not ready to get into a relationship for whatever reason I’ve tried. Just can’t find it. So I’ve been filling my life up to the brim. Extra time with my kids , going to the gym , doing my photography and catching up with friends.

I do have hope though. I am going to list what I hope for . Maybe one day I will look back on it and I will have some off these things.

* To feel healthy 

* To fall in love

* To make more friends

* Be financially stable

Maybe some goals and things I hope for are easier to achieve than others. Let’s see what the future brings.

Fitness Time – Part One.

So I forgot to mention in the last blog I also weighed myself the results….

There’s two horrible things here… My feet & my weight . Unfortunately there is only one thing I can change….my weight.

So today is my second bash at the gym although the top of my legs are hurting I had the urge to just get back at it.. why not yeah?

Just take it easy I thought.

So decided to start my intivel training again and begin with a easy one with my legs already hurting.

Half way in I started to get very cocky and began to push …


I gumped it went as fast as I could forgetting it was my short run and I only had less then 60 seconds to cool down… So I entered stitch city. Just in time for my final 3minute run.

I pushed myself to my fastest and heled it for the three minutes couldn’t believe it !

I was however done in ! 

Now time to go home for a weigh in …will anything have changed…prob not 😂👌