Tag Archives: blog

Another Great Night 👌

So ready for sleep right now. I feel like I’ve been sleeping less as I’ve been busy doing various things but when I do sleep man do I sleep ! It’s great.

So time to pop on a pod cast and hope I dream of something nice . 

Peace out world see you on the other side 👌

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How To Think 

You know I seen this and I couldn’t have agreed more. Now I’m starting to write… actually fuck that .. I no how to think … THINK POSITIVE!

Just not easy is it . I can have a train of possitive thoughts and goals and then boom…

This crops up more so as I try to sleep. I have got myself into quite a possitive routine at the moment however. I suppose part is linked to lonlyeness.

Before I sleep I like to post a blog and edit a photo for my instergram.

I like waking up in the morning to notifications . Sad right. Makes me feel loved.

And then I switch my notification sounds off and shove on a Karl Pilkington pod cast and lie down like this untill my brain switches off.

Do I Want Her Back?

It’s strange right. I’m feeling pretty lonley at the moment and I feel like my clock is ticking.

Last night I had a dream that a reunited with my Ex and we ended up getting back together.

This had a strange effect on me.

First I woke up content and happy. In the end of the dream we had been cuddled in bed the usual my being the big spoon for a while then turning over . Usually threw the night I would wake up and go back to being the big spoon. I did this in this dream and she was gone. Then I woke up.

All day this has been in the back of my mind. 

Does this mean I haven’t gotten over her ? Or is it that I’m feeling lonley? 

Meh another puzzle another day ✌️

Exhausted.

This it so true right now.

I feel lonely a lot of the time at the moment and it’s something I’ve always stressed about. 

I’m 30 I have two kids and I want to share my life with someone. I had horrible break ups . I don’t no if I’ve got the strength to try again and if I do I’m not meeting anyone any time soon.

I seam to be stuck in a cycle at the moment. I can almost feel my anxiety bubbling under the surface ready to explode . 

I am for the most part controling it.

Work has been rough recently too lots of changes and things just generally going tits up.
I look forward to my sleep. Listing to my podcasts as I drift off….

Community​. #Trigger Warning#

This image has really got me tonight.

My life feels a bit down the drain at the moment feel like I’m going threw the motions have I felt suicidal no… But I find it hard to realise when I am. I get close but I could never leave my kids.

When I’ve been close to jumping I’ve thought about them. Thoughts of them are what hold me to the bridge.

You see my life is shit at the moment and I’m doing things to change that.

Im being creative . Writing a book , playing in a band , publishing and selling my photography and creating blogs.

The problem is I don’t have someone to share this with.

Same shit has caused me to be alone again. I fucking hate it. I don’t think I can take the hurt again. I just want to be loved and love in return instead of being told I am when I’m not. Pretty much how all of my relationships end.. 

Just a down day today I suppose. 

Tierd.

You no I’m sick of being alone and I’m sick of making the effort getting involved and finding myself back alone.

It’s a repeating pattern . It’s a shitty one. 

The worst part is falling in love with people who don’t love you .

You see I never seam to have a clue when this is happening. The last relationship was a big one for me.
Meeting new people seams like such a effort but I’m trying I don’t no how much trying I’ve got left in me.