Tag Archives: gym


This is the second diary and this is for me to look back on . I will be editing and adding every other day. Feel free to like & Comment.

17th Jan 2017

So today I’ve felt pretty good . Slept well last night and that happens rarely .

Last night was one of those rare occasions. I’d had a good day. I’d been on a date bowling and absolutely wooped her…Not sure if your supposed to do that on a first date but me.

I ain’t getting into it but she’s pretty daym cool.

Once I’d woken up refreshed it was the for work.

For me that’s chefing. Today was very quite and started my new 7-2pm shifts . Finishing at 2 has been daugnting as it leaves me with a lot of time on my hands. 

Today I took up some of that time by hitting the gym.

( Feel free to follow me on Instagram – Search jamesthefreak)

After the gym it was time to chill for a bit I was knackerd and very red faced….

A horrible photo but hopefully it gives you a laugh !

Later on I met my friend Paul and went Pokémon hunting it was nice just chilling with Paul and having a good catch up. 

Now time for me to wind down with a happy pod cast and hopefully have another great night’s sleep. ✌️

18 Jan 2017

Last night I slept well and heavy feel a little half asleep as I travel to work.

I stopped at the local news agent to be served but a repulsive new starter trying to engage in conversation. I thought to myself “not today”.

A morning were little social interaction would be appreciated.

 I cheered up threw the day thank good and  soon it was 2pm and time to finish work.

I’d over done it at the gym so knees were sore . Rest day today !

I visited my Gran tonight . She is getting more forgetful and less independent since her last visit. It’s tough on my Mam so I try and support her as much as I can. Even if it’s just going with her to visit.

Feb 16th 

Have not bloged in a while keeping busy but not busy.

I started dating a woman it was going pretty good however I didn’t feel any electricity any want for her. Before I could break it off she did.

Looks like I made the mistake of thinking a new relationship would help me forget the last. It actually ment this one had a lot to live up to and well…It didn’t. Not to say that I still have any romantic feelings for what was that’s in the past.

I reached out to the ex to extend a final attempt at a friendship it was declined (no reply) so that’s put that to bed.

Ive been filling my time by binge watching Netflix and Pokémon Go…..

I’m looking forward to the new update I will be out walking all the time !

Match 4 2017

So the end of today went weird…

A text off the ex. So less than a week ago she was removing me from her instergram and a week before that I mesaaged to say hope all was well and got no response I get this.

I don’t think I would have been up for a catch up… 

A – Hey what’s up with you?

Me – just getting by day today with nothing much to do just deal with the anxity and shit that goes with a bad break up and accepting that there will not be a friendship and feeling a bit hurt and scorned…. How about you ?


Maybe this will eventually happen but I won’t hold my breath.


Lost My Best Friend.

So for those of you who read my blogs will know that I suffer (boy does it feel like it atm) from anxiety.

When I first started writing blogs I had just had my first anxiety attack and break down.
During that period I walked out of my job and had lost my best friend over my own clouded horrible actions.

I started to turn it around.

I got into one on one therapy and group . The group was a writing one .

I then got a new job. I also attended the gym quite often . Almost daily. I was losing weight and feeling good about myself. I was making progress.

My new job next that I could afford a holiday . So off I went with my best friends to Turkey . It was awesome.

When I came back it wasn’t long before I was offered a pay rise at work and to become kitchen manager / Head chef.
This meant that my pay would be a little better than when I was working in the call center. (A job I think that helped cause a lot of anxiety but the pay tempted me.)

Seams like everything is on the up ,right ?

Wrong. Getting this job caused someone to stand down. This is causing people to begin bitching about me etc.
I’ve got into the habit off 2 energy drinks at the start of the day and drink pop threw out.
7:30am – 6:30pm shifts also put me off the gym. So the weight is coming back. So back in the gym I shall go next week.
This morning I have replaced my energy drinks with diet coke and water threw the day.
Also working at a pub/restaurant has led me to often have a few beers after work. So I’m going to have to stop that two.

Time to get back on track & hope I don’t lose my shit first .

” It Doesn’t Matter , It’s In The Past”


At the moment I’m thinking a lot about the past and trying to help work out what caused me and others pain.
I guess I was never 100% honest . This is the first big lesson I’ve learnt . So everyone I’ve spoken too I have been. Not blunt with it or rude just well..honest. not bending the truth not giving into someone’s opinion and sharing what I really think no matter how uncomfortable it is.
The second thing I’ve learnt is I need attention and love. Suppose I’m affectionate even with my friends not just romantic relationships. If I feel it’s all one sided I need to say otherwise I will hurt and buried hurt explodes and causes hurt for those around.

I’m not taking pleasure in a lot of things however I do take pleasure in..


Taking on challenges . I started working out / running with my ex. I was often told it was a phase and put down over achievements .
I’ve got to say when the relationship ended I thought I would have stopped . It however became a great distraction and allowed myself to keep busy. Now I am nearly 4 stone lighter and will be running a half marathon in a few months ! I actually really enjoy the gym and running now.

I will leave you with a quote (below). As usual feel free to comment . Does anything I’ve said hit home to you ? Any advice ?


Training Diary Part Two – First Race.

So a while back I signed up for a 5k race. I thought it would a good way to get a feel for what it is like to race.


So that day came today. When I woke up it was raining and thought I was going to be running in the rain however the rain stopped before the race.


So a quick picture for my dad and I was ready to go.

We walked from the registration . I talked with my dad and said all I want to do is complete the race but would be happy if I could do it in 30min or there about.

And then the race began!



The hardest part was the 2nd mile. We were running on the mud by this point and was hard to get past people and not slip over.
I was convinced that I was not going to have a good time .

Then the Marshall at a turn said “the finish is just round the corner”. So then I could see it.


As you can tell it was hard but I did it in 30 Min !!!

Bring on my next race a 10k in a few months.