This is how I feel most days . I think I am miss understood quite a bit. My friends often say that I always have the right things to say . It’s because I’ve thought of about Ten things to say and twenty senarios that could caused by that and then I run them threw my head over and over.
Then I pick what to say.
How many times have we said this to someone or has it said to us. Sometimes we are left without anything else to say.
I’ve been trying very hard to focus on my happiness at the moment and for the most part it is paying off.
This time last year I was so happy. New love and we shared an amazing bank holiday together. I won’t forget that. Was that my one chance of Real happiness . Probably not. It’s a great memory though .
I can’t be that happy again I just no it.
This is a great quote.
To me time always seams long drawn out but just passing by.
Is that a existence …I’d say no. Well what better time than now to change things !
You know I seen this and I couldn’t have agreed more. Now I’m starting to write… actually fuck that .. I no how to think … THINK POSITIVE!
Just not easy is it . I can have a train of possitive thoughts and goals and then boom…
This crops up more so as I try to sleep. I have got myself into quite a possitive routine at the moment however. I suppose part is linked to lonlyeness.
Before I sleep I like to post a blog and edit a photo for my instergram.
I like waking up in the morning to notifications . Sad right. Makes me feel loved.
And then I switch my notification sounds off and shove on a Karl Pilkington pod cast and lie down like this untill my brain switches off.
So it’s just past midnight and I should definitely be going to sleep.
Problem is my anxiety and stress levels have been through the roof.
Stuff with work , kids , ex’s , lonlyeness and quite frankly general unhappy was is getting on top of me.
Usually I no what to do how to improve what I should change but I’m at a loss.
All I can finish try this …
It’s a new day . I am going to try and take control back. I’ve been on the verge of a Anxiety attack for a while now. I’m still fighting.
This it so true right now.
I feel lonely a lot of the time at the moment and it’s something I’ve always stressed about.
I’m 30 I have two kids and I want to share my life with someone. I had horrible break ups . I don’t no if I’ve got the strength to try again and if I do I’m not meeting anyone any time soon.
I seam to be stuck in a cycle at the moment. I can almost feel my anxiety bubbling under the surface ready to explode .
I am for the most part controling it.
Work has been rough recently too lots of changes and things just generally going tits up.
I look forward to my sleep. Listing to my podcasts as I drift off….
This it totally true you have no idea if the people around you are struggling. I feel that people often put up a front as the idea of any sort of weekness is frowned upon.
When I’m feeling down I don’t hide it very well most of the time but I do tend to hibernate away in my room. We all have our ways off escaping into our self witch isn’t always best.
This is why I blog. Challenge myself to talk about it and talk to others it feels great !