How many times have we said this to someone or has it said to us. Sometimes we are left without anything else to say.
I’ve been trying very hard to focus on my happiness at the moment and for the most part it is paying off.
This time last year I was so happy. New love and we shared an amazing bank holiday together. I won’t forget that. Was that my one chance of Real happiness . Probably not. It’s a great memory though .
I can’t be that happy again I just no it.
You know I seen this and I couldn’t have agreed more. Now I’m starting to write… actually fuck that .. I no how to think … THINK POSITIVE!
Just not easy is it . I can have a train of possitive thoughts and goals and then boom…
This crops up more so as I try to sleep. I have got myself into quite a possitive routine at the moment however. I suppose part is linked to lonlyeness.
Before I sleep I like to post a blog and edit a photo for my instergram.
I like waking up in the morning to notifications . Sad right. Makes me feel loved.
And then I switch my notification sounds off and shove on a Karl Pilkington pod cast and lie down like this untill my brain switches off.
Just a quick shout out to my followers. Love you all appreciate the likes , follows and the views.
Keep smiling and if your feeling bad…write about it.
A rare night for me when I feel content looking forward to sleep listing to a bit Karl Pilkington ✌️
So I’ve done a few fitness diarys on here and guess what…here’s another.
I suppose when I look at myself all I see is a over weight not as young looking as I feel sack of shit.
Harsh but true. I suppose all that’s left for me to do is change that myself.
Last time I had a successful weightloss was using weight burners to assist.
This time I am using this one . It is to be taken up to three times a day with food. I am taking it just twice daily and trying to add exercise aswell.
Is this cheating probably…
So I went to the gym after work.
I couldn’t believe that I managed to run 5K at my first session back. I suppose I can always say I have good stamana and thats probably from drumming.
I find myself trying to explain myself a lot, I think those with Anxiety often do. We have to because we are programmed to fuck up once and a while.
It’s not easy to explain the things we have done or why.
Most of the time we can’t explain it to ourselves.
All I try and tell people is that I’m carrying and I’m.always planning for the worst case sinario.
So it’s just past midnight and I should definitely be going to sleep.
Problem is my anxiety and stress levels have been through the roof.
Stuff with work , kids , ex’s , lonlyeness and quite frankly general unhappy was is getting on top of me.
Usually I no what to do how to improve what I should change but I’m at a loss.
All I can finish try this …
It’s a new day . I am going to try and take control back. I’ve been on the verge of a Anxiety attack for a while now. I’m still fighting.
It’s strange right. I’m feeling pretty lonley at the moment and I feel like my clock is ticking.
Last night I had a dream that a reunited with my Ex and we ended up getting back together.
This had a strange effect on me.
First I woke up content and happy. In the end of the dream we had been cuddled in bed the usual my being the big spoon for a while then turning over . Usually threw the night I would wake up and go back to being the big spoon. I did this in this dream and she was gone. Then I woke up.
All day this has been in the back of my mind.
Does this mean I haven’t gotten over her ? Or is it that I’m feeling lonley?
Meh another puzzle another day ✌️