Tag Archives: meme

When Your Sad….

I’m Sad !

One thing I hate about Anxiety is always needing to fix and solve problems i hate things that I can’t control.

I’m.not even sure this is coman with Anxiety but it plays on my mind.

First of all of I don’t no what’s upsetting you is the worst. That means I have to go through millions of reasons you could be upset and then try and fix them all so that if I’m right I will no what to Do.

In reality I probly won’t. I will however try.

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Random Diary 31/1/18

This is more a diary entry unlike my other blogs.

Tonight was amazing. I met my lady we went for a drive to get some cake ! Turned out the cake was a let down but it was the journey that was fun.

I once we had walked around the shop and got our cake we headed for a drive along the sea front . There was a nice pub that I had been to before so we grabbed a drink and talked about all the strange things that had happened to ourselfs on various holidays.

I love getting to know more about her.

Then we drove further along the cost and pulled up . We walked along the promonard hand in had. I loved that she kept pulling me in for kisses.

We talked the whole time about a future house and about other random things.

Then we went back to hears for cake 👌

A simple night to most people but not to me. I loved every moment and I love her.

I hope these moments are as special to her ❤️

Anxiety Stop Kicking My Ass!

I seam to be kicking my ass over and over the same shit recently.

Just not really felt very positive about myself or the impact I have on other people.

I am often finding myself down the negitive side of anxiety when you think all the worries and all the bull shit is because I’m broken and why the fuck can’t I fix it ?

At the moment I am having a lot of support from my partner even though she dosent seam to realise. Sometimes just being able to enjoy the peace of cuddling into her and watching something and letting myself relax is the best feeling in the world.

I never and I mean never feel like that.

Also been able to talk to her and even making long calls (normally calls freak me out )

So time to move the fuck on with life. Put this worry and doubt behind me and continue to stay strong.

Dating With Anxiety – Part 4

I don’t no why but I’ve always felt really uncomfortable on the phone my anxiety often peaks . I get paranoid that other people are listing and I mumble and no one knows what the fuck I’m on about 😂

Tonight tho I’ve been on the phone nearly 3 hours 😮

Turned out just needed to be someone I actually wanted to talk to someone I missed.

It felt like I was there with them.

Dating With Anxiety – Part 2

Oh you do love me ? Are you sure…..

See sometimes I have a lot of doubts about how people feel about me. My family , my friends and my partner.

I often don’t feel like I deserve any of them.

I wonder how she could love me / put up with me. Sometimes I can be sensitive about the littlest thing and it’s because I’ve already thought of 10+ negitive things about the statement you have made.

For example ” You really are a dick”

You see if this is character flaw bassed or something I don’t do. You can bet I’ve already been aware and beaten myself up in my head for months about it. Then when.you say it , it then feel 10x worse because you agree . It isn’t just in my head.

We had a little falling out lastnight over something I don’t do..something I’m aware of. What pissed me off is why haven’t I don’t anything about it before . I know I should be doing it . So what did I do . Took it out on the person that matters the most to me.

We made up and I couldn’t be happier about that.

I try to do little things to show her I care. I’ve switched of from.romance a long time ago but with her I want to show her how much I care. Not felt like this before.

I’ve been becoming a better person in a lot of ways by being around her. Seeing her kind hearted ways.

She lies here next to me now snoring in the cute way she does . I love it. I love her.

And I’m finishing this blog so I can go cuddle into her.

Brain is wired tonight tho so not sure if I’m.gonna sleep but I’m.going to enjoy the comphat of lying next to the person that means the most to me.

Budda Gets It Again.

Last night I had the realisation of peace of happiness I’ve never felt. I’m not sure how but when I’m with her I feel more wanted than I ever have been by anyone.

When we cuddle intogethr it feels like she is just part of me and I’m a part of her.

You see I’ve kided myself a lot in past relationships tried to lie to friends about how great it is and also lie to myself.

This though is unlike any relationship I’ve ever been in. I actually feel loved.

Has is been easy….

Hell no. We’ve had some pretty major fights in the early part of our relationship but we worked through them and no matter what we said about one another have moved on like it never happened.

In a way I feel like it brought us closer together.