Tag Archives: relationship

Another Great Night 👌

So ready for sleep right now. I feel like I’ve been sleeping less as I’ve been busy doing various things but when I do sleep man do I sleep ! It’s great.

So time to pop on a pod cast and hope I dream of something nice . 

Peace out world see you on the other side 👌


Don’t Be Sad.

How many times have we said this to someone or has it said to us. Sometimes we are left without anything else to say.

I’ve been trying very hard to focus on my happiness at the moment and for the most part it is paying off. 

This time last year I was so happy. New love and we shared an amazing bank holiday together. I won’t forget that. Was that my one chance of Real happiness . Probably not. It’s a great memory though .

I can’t be that happy again I just no it.


This is so true about relationships . I new my last one was falling apart and I tried to do everything in my power to stop it happing. It was too late.

I do look back we were happy for the most part…well I was.

I also look back though and realize it wouldnt work. Those reasons are personal but I have had time to assess and move on.

Do I miss her. Hell yeah but it wouldn’t work…would it…no course it wouldn’t.

Time To Get My Life Of Track.

So apparently there is some monster inside of me.

I don’t no if it comes from my anxiety or my over sexualised mind.

I’ve done some pretty horrible things to people I’ve been attracted to and sometimes loved. 

Some pretty stupid stuff too.

This I like to keep to myself to a certain extent.

At the bottom of me I’m lonley. I want that idilic relationship that so many people seam to have.

So my quest for a relationship is definitely a mess. I am really out of my depth. 

So it’s time to focus up on me , my kids and bettering my life.

It starts today with 40 day and night challenge.

Those firmilia with the film will no that for 40 days and 40 nights the lead trust to go without sex this includes masterbating .

I will be doing this starting from today 6th August until 14th September.

Hopefully this will desexualize myself and get things into perspective.

I am also going to rejoin my gym start working towards my weight loss . 

A lot of how I feel about women not liking me is down to how I feel about myself looking in the mirror.

Then it’s the job I have. I suppose no job is easy especially when you are as anxious as I am. However I do think it is time for a change.

Wish me luck. If you have and advice please leave it in the comment section.

I will also be keeping a diary during my 40 day challenge.

Update / Rant .

So it’s just past midnight and I should definitely be going to sleep.

Problem is my anxiety and stress levels have been through the roof.

Stuff with work , kids , ex’s , lonlyeness and quite frankly general unhappy was is getting on top of me.

Usually I no what to do how to improve what I should change but I’m at a loss.

All I can finish try this …

It’s a new day . I am going to try and take control back. I’ve been on the verge of a Anxiety attack for a while now. I’m still fighting.


This it so true right now.

I feel lonely a lot of the time at the moment and it’s something I’ve always stressed about. 

I’m 30 I have two kids and I want to share my life with someone. I had horrible break ups . I don’t no if I’ve got the strength to try again and if I do I’m not meeting anyone any time soon.

I seam to be stuck in a cycle at the moment. I can almost feel my anxiety bubbling under the surface ready to explode . 

I am for the most part controling it.

Work has been rough recently too lots of changes and things just generally going tits up.
I look forward to my sleep. Listing to my podcasts as I drift off….