Tag Archives: relationship

Don’t Be Sad.


How many times have we said this to someone or has it said to us. Sometimes we are left without anything else to say.

I’ve been trying very hard to focus on my happiness at the moment and for the most part it is paying off. 

This time last year I was so happy. New love and we shared an amazing bank holiday together. I won’t forget that. Was that my one chance of Real happiness . Probably not. It’s a great memory though .

I can’t be that happy again I just no it.

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Cling

This is so true about relationships . I new my last one was falling apart and I tried to do everything in my power to stop it happing. It was too late.

I do look back we were happy for the most part…well I was.

I also look back though and realize it wouldnt work. Those reasons are personal but I have had time to assess and move on.

Do I miss her. Hell yeah but it wouldn’t work…would it…no course it wouldn’t.

Time To Get My Life Of Track.

So apparently there is some monster inside of me.

I don’t no if it comes from my anxiety or my over sexualised mind.

I’ve done some pretty horrible things to people I’ve been attracted to and sometimes loved. 

Some pretty stupid stuff too.

This I like to keep to myself to a certain extent.

At the bottom of me I’m lonley. I want that idilic relationship that so many people seam to have.

So my quest for a relationship is definitely a mess. I am really out of my depth. 

So it’s time to focus up on me , my kids and bettering my life.

It starts today with 40 day and night challenge.

Those firmilia with the film will no that for 40 days and 40 nights the lead trust to go without sex this includes masterbating .

I will be doing this starting from today 6th August until 14th September.

Hopefully this will desexualize myself and get things into perspective.

I am also going to rejoin my gym start working towards my weight loss . 

A lot of how I feel about women not liking me is down to how I feel about myself looking in the mirror.

Then it’s the job I have. I suppose no job is easy especially when you are as anxious as I am. However I do think it is time for a change.

Wish me luck. If you have and advice please leave it in the comment section.

I will also be keeping a diary during my 40 day challenge.

Update / Rant .

So it’s just past midnight and I should definitely be going to sleep.

Problem is my anxiety and stress levels have been through the roof.


Stuff with work , kids , ex’s , lonlyeness and quite frankly general unhappy was is getting on top of me.

Usually I no what to do how to improve what I should change but I’m at a loss.

All I can finish try this …

It’s a new day . I am going to try and take control back. I’ve been on the verge of a Anxiety attack for a while now. I’m still fighting.

Exhausted.

This it so true right now.

I feel lonely a lot of the time at the moment and it’s something I’ve always stressed about. 

I’m 30 I have two kids and I want to share my life with someone. I had horrible break ups . I don’t no if I’ve got the strength to try again and if I do I’m not meeting anyone any time soon.

I seam to be stuck in a cycle at the moment. I can almost feel my anxiety bubbling under the surface ready to explode . 

I am for the most part controling it.

Work has been rough recently too lots of changes and things just generally going tits up.
I look forward to my sleep. Listing to my podcasts as I drift off….

Love Heals.

Wow … I’ve rewritten this twice. I have two strong contrasting opinions on this.

Opinion 1.

Love and partnership can bring you so much happiness. You can learn so much more about yourself and others can open you up to experiences that you wouldn’t undertake on your own.

Opinion 2.

Love can fill a void and be forced . Love is not the way to ignore problems within yourself. Once you feel strong on your own your probably not going to still need that partnership. Or comphet blanket. This leads to people getting hurt.
So witch opinion do you agree more with ? Let me no and why in the comment section.

Inside.


So I was told by a friend I let the little things slide or I ignore the cracks when I’m in a relationship.

Man he was right it’s true in that aspect of my life I burry my head or think of nice reasons why they are doing the things they are.

In my day to day life though . You piss me off and I will tell you in great humourous detail why .

I think I need to apply the later to future relationships.