Tag Archives: stress

Worry.

When you haven’t heard from someone you care about for hours your mind starts to wind yourself up.

You just wish you had a way to know if they are alright . Anything any little sign but instead you are left with your own thoughts tossing and turning as you try and sleep.

Looks like another sleepless night for me.

Advertisements

Lost.

I feel lost & worried when I don’t know people I love or care about are okay ?when you only get a snippet into there life and are left worrying . I didn’t sleep last night how could I . I am trying to get of my mind how worried I am about the person I care about but I cant.

I’ve written down all about the best risk I’ve ever taken and I tried reading it over to myself over and over. Adding bits as I went along. I want that time commited to my memory. I hope everything that was said was ment.

Anxiety Stop Kicking My Ass!

I seam to be kicking my ass over and over the same shit recently.

Just not really felt very positive about myself or the impact I have on other people.

I am often finding myself down the negitive side of anxiety when you think all the worries and all the bull shit is because I’m broken and why the fuck can’t I fix it ?

At the moment I am having a lot of support from my partner even though she dosent seam to realise. Sometimes just being able to enjoy the peace of cuddling into her and watching something and letting myself relax is the best feeling in the world.

I never and I mean never feel like that.

Also been able to talk to her and even making long calls (normally calls freak me out )

So time to move the fuck on with life. Put this worry and doubt behind me and continue to stay strong.

Dating With Anxiety – Part 2

Oh you do love me ? Are you sure…..

See sometimes I have a lot of doubts about how people feel about me. My family , my friends and my partner.

I often don’t feel like I deserve any of them.

I wonder how she could love me / put up with me. Sometimes I can be sensitive about the littlest thing and it’s because I’ve already thought of 10+ negitive things about the statement you have made.

For example ” You really are a dick”

You see if this is character flaw bassed or something I don’t do. You can bet I’ve already been aware and beaten myself up in my head for months about it. Then when.you say it , it then feel 10x worse because you agree . It isn’t just in my head.

We had a little falling out lastnight over something I don’t do..something I’m aware of. What pissed me off is why haven’t I don’t anything about it before . I know I should be doing it . So what did I do . Took it out on the person that matters the most to me.

We made up and I couldn’t be happier about that.

I try to do little things to show her I care. I’ve switched of from.romance a long time ago but with her I want to show her how much I care. Not felt like this before.

I’ve been becoming a better person in a lot of ways by being around her. Seeing her kind hearted ways.

She lies here next to me now snoring in the cute way she does . I love it. I love her.

And I’m finishing this blog so I can go cuddle into her.

Brain is wired tonight tho so not sure if I’m.gonna sleep but I’m.going to enjoy the comphat of lying next to the person that means the most to me.

Dating with Anxiety – Part 1

Maybe I’m always going to worry I’m not good enough for you. In fact never mind maybe I no I will.

It’s true. I’ve caused some worry for myself and now I feel so stupid.

I often think I’m not good enough but then you look at me and tell me you love me and my heart melts.

I look in your eyes and I feel safe.

I fall asleep and wake up feeling bad because I would be given shit for doing the same with other partners. For that you look at me like I’m daft.

I have to keep reminding myself off this.

We could have the future I want.

A house , kids , marriage and Beeing stuck with me Forever.

I just sometimes have to remind myself that I’m loved and that you love me. It’s hard sometimes.

Update / Rant .

So it’s just past midnight and I should definitely be going to sleep.

Problem is my anxiety and stress levels have been through the roof.


Stuff with work , kids , ex’s , lonlyeness and quite frankly general unhappy was is getting on top of me.

Usually I no what to do how to improve what I should change but I’m at a loss.

All I can finish try this …

It’s a new day . I am going to try and take control back. I’ve been on the verge of a Anxiety attack for a while now. I’m still fighting.