Tag Archives: writing

Anxiety Stop Kicking My Ass!

I seam to be kicking my ass over and over the same shit recently.

Just not really felt very positive about myself or the impact I have on other people.

I am often finding myself down the negitive side of anxiety when you think all the worries and all the bull shit is because I’m broken and why the fuck can’t I fix it ?

At the moment I am having a lot of support from my partner even though she dosent seam to realise. Sometimes just being able to enjoy the peace of cuddling into her and watching something and letting myself relax is the best feeling in the world.

I never and I mean never feel like that.

Also been able to talk to her and even making long calls (normally calls freak me out )

So time to move the fuck on with life. Put this worry and doubt behind me and continue to stay strong.


Terminal – Rough Draft 


Chapter 1 – Courrage 
When Travis first cast eyes on her standing behind the counter with her fringe playfully hanging over her right eye, green streaks running threw it he knew she was special. 

Every morning Travis stopped by her shop and bought himself ten cigarettes that he’d never smoke giving him a chance to speak to her. It was a delicate game making sure he had timed the queue right to be served by her and not the battle axe she usually worked alongside with.

Today was going to be different than the others. Travis had spent a good ten minutes outside the shop this morning mustering some courage .Today he was going to try and speak to her. After all it had been months.

“Just the ten deck today dude?” she said as Travis moved to the front of the queue. 

“Yes please” Travis said as though something was caught in his throat. “Maybe you should take it easy on the smokes dude?” “But then I’d see you less” before Travis had time to regret his attempt at a chat up line.. “Were do you get off hitting on people at work and with a queue of customers listening too!” she said scowling at Travis. That scowl however quickly turned into a cheeky smile. “I’m winding you up dude, I finish at six tonight dude, bands are on at seven at ku club, and I suppose I will see you there.” 

“Definitely” Travis said embarrassingly while shuffling out off the shop.
Chapter 2
Travis’s job was dull enough most days but today was worse than usual. In-between taking calls all he could do was look at that dull office clock it didn’t seem more than five minutes each time. Then suddley the time had come. He had wished his day away and now the time was here the nerves set in.

Travis had made it to Ku club early. As he walked in his shoes began to stick to the floor as he walked and you could smell the faint odour of sweat and cigarette smoke. 

Travis approached the bar as he walked he could hear the band sound checking. 

“What can i get you?” the bartender said slightly sharply so he could be heard above the band. “Double jack and coke please, with just a splash of coke.”

“Boo!” Screamed a loud ladys voice behind Travis startling him. As he turned round there she was looking stunning as ever.  

“Don’t you know its rude to start drinking before your date arrives? Or are you just to rock and roll for me?” before Travis could answer she began with introductions. “Well anyway my name is Amy, what should i call you?” “I’m Travis” “I love that name, always had it picked out as a cool baby name!” Amy said. 

He looked at her standing there rocking a baggy sunny day real estate t shirt and tartan skirt almost wearing it playfully. Travis almost felt like a imposter in the rock club.

The band began to sound check. There attention was drawn to the stage. There stood three guys. Drums, bass and guitar. They were cokey and funny with it. Amy laughed every time they did . Unfortunately he missed most of the punch lines and just laughed awkwardly along with Amy.

Soon the band began there set as the pub filled up. The singer announced “our next one you’re goanna want to dance too. This is bus life” before he had finished announcing the song Amy had dragged Travis to the dance floor. 

The night spiralled into drinks, ska dancing and laughing and the next thing he knew his alarm was sounding for work the next morning.

His travel to work was full of flash backs from the night before.

Travis felt like he crawled from his bed to the bath room. As he took off his shirt from the night before he laughed. His chest was covered in badly done writing it was Amy’s mobile number scribbled in eyeliner.

So That was a short exert of the basic draft of terminal. Please feel free to offer advice in the comment section. Thanks ✌️


Well I’ve found myself with a lot of free time of late. That’s what being a loser is. Sitting alone wishing you were being more productive then realising I actually do quite a bit ! Must be I’ve lost over a stone I’m definitely getting out and about…. But I still have some free time now and again.

This has given me time to revisit a book I’ve been on and off writing for a year or so. It’s coming along great . 

Anyway I may preview a short clip here if there is enough interest. 

It’s a romantic comedy where unusual parings are made and people are thrown together to survive a plauge of abductions… What to read a clip just like this blog (so I no there is interest) and follow to get a email as soon as it’s uploaded. 

If I get 10+ likes it’s happening for sure ✌️

2 Year Blog Anniversary ! How & Why I Started ….

So two years ago my life was falling apart….Well at least that’s how it felt.

I had been in a relationship for over three years and in the end it imploded. Mainly because both of us had fell out of love with each other.

It caused tit for tat arguments and more survere ones too. The good days however made you convince yourself the rest of the shit was worth it.

In reality it isn’t.

This caused me to go into the worst spiral of anxity ups and downs I have ever had.

Luckley for me I had a very supportive friend who’s house moreorless became mine for about a month maybe more.

I will always be great full for that.

( Me on the left , Alex my friend on the right )

I was pretty down and ended up in one on one counciling again.

This time it was suggested that I joined a writing therapy group.

It was run buy a lovely lady and the group was all lady’s . 

Each week we did various exercises writing about our issues and talking about what we had written to the group . 

Then I had a idea …

I started to write a blog. I used quotes that I thought ment something to me and wrote about what feelings it brought up.

And on days I couldn’t bring myself to write about that I wrote about anything. Made my own funny lists , reviewed music , talked about films whatever got my mind of my anxiety.

Then the most amazing thing happened….

You guys started following , commenting and liking in the hundreds. I didn’t feel alone e anymore. Reading like-minded blogs reafermed this .

So that’s how it began. Want to no more ? A summary of the rest of the two years ? Let me no in the comment section and I may do it with enough requests.

Peace and love ✌️




Now isn’t this a deep quote. I think when you suffer from anxiety you often create negative thoughts , events , suspicions and all sorts . Now at the time these all seam plausible and that your not over thinking.
When the anxiety cloud has passed however you start to realize that these thoughts even if grounded in something are unrealistic.

It’s a hard one to do in that moment however. I find writing about those thoughts good. I re-read and sometimes doing that gives me some perspective.

So how do you deal with your negative thoughts ? Tell Me In The Comment Section.



Forgiveness, wow that’s a hard one. Of course it depends who you are trying to forgive. 
You see for me at the moment I need to forgive myself for some of the things I have done or thought. Its not that easy however when you no what you have done is inexcusable.

Today after speaking to someone who I have not spoken to a while we both admitted to things we had done that had wronged one other in the past , and then it happened. We forgave each other. It was genuine and felt good.


Sometimes a misunderstanding can take years to understand or put into perspective . Bare that in mind when you can not relate to someone else’s point of view.
Basically reflect on things. It’s hard to do but step away . Think . Put yourself in their shoes.

So I ask is their a wrong you could admit to anonymously in our comment section? You may feel surprised to see how it feels to get it off your chest.